Cooper52

by Ardie Collins

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about

A project to write an original song every week throughout 2014. This album will get added to as the project progresses.

credits

released December 28, 2014

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about

Ardie Collins Cardiff, UK

I'm a songwriter from Cardiff.

In 2011 I released a song a day. In 2014 I released a song a week. By 2017 I'm aiming to release half a song every three months.

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Contact Ardie Collins

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Track Name: Week 1 - Two Thirds
This city’s pace, How it rumbles slow
No airs and grace, Or putting on a show
I gave it all I have except for loads
Now it’s time to go

Your stolen glance, Will catch you up
Give me a half a chance, And two thirds luck
Your weathered heart seems ready to give up
Don’t you dare give up

It’s almost as if everybody’s crazy
It’s what happens when your choice is “sink or swim”
These well-tied ties and nebulae are at odds when fitting in a mind
Like the thought that war is something you can win

I like the pace, Of this sleepy house
In the hall I hear an oldie spinning ‘round
It sings, “Is you is or is you ain’t my baby?”
I hope that he found out
Track Name: Week 2 - Leaks Part I and IV
Part I

It’s easy now to see just how the present’s leaking fast
When it’s all, all made up
Never mind, perfect your whine and your affected croaks
Maybe they won’t catch you up

Such bad blood
Between such good friends

All I wanted was a vision of your worries in a body bag

Give it time, it’s what it craves to let the phrases flow
Do-si-do, and so on

And they watched us grow
Between well-made beds

All I wanted was a vision of your worries in a body bag

Part IV

And I know you, I know you’d say that all is not lost
That’s where they found us with our chubby little forearms crossed
I’d been away from here for so long that I thought I had this whole place figured out
But maybe I’m so close to it I cannot hear the echoes for the shouts
‘Cause all I wanted was a vision of your worries in a body bag
All I wanted was something I hadn’t worked out I already had
And though I’m twice the size of someone else from half a lifetime ago
There’s still secrets in the pavements and there’s voices in the cracks along the road
Track Name: Week 3 - The Morning Apologised
Another year and maybe I’ll work this out
For now I’ll just muddle through noise
Tell me just as soon as it’s too much trouble
I’ll pretend that you had no choice

And I hope, I hope
That this lump that’s in my throat
Isn’t gonna make me choke before tonight
And I’d pray, I’d pray
If I thought that it would save
If I thought that it would save us any time

I could hear the morning apologising
Today it didn’t feel like a show
No one seemed to offer some understanding
Pretending that they didn’t know

And the radio
Plays a song I used to know
And it dances in the corner of my mind
And now I’m fourteen years old
Traipsing down familiar roads
All we wanted was to be outside

Now and then it feels like making up for
Time that was never lost
Funny how there isn’t a price for sorrow
Funny how there’s a cost
Track Name: Week 4 - Sweet Perfume
Who would've known that scissors beat stone
Patience wins out in the end
Try as I might the words are never quite right
Away from my paper and pen

And they stick
In my mouth
Like a fog
Pluming out
Thick and loud

I used to the moan the most awful of groans
At the thought of climbing from my bed
And it shook the walls and it ripped through the walls
Before a sound quiet as death

I can wait
'til today
Never felt so awake
It's getting late
It's getting late

And so your neck gives in
To your drooping skull
Like the mission bells
By the garden wall
Where you lost your fear
And you let it all
Come tumbling out
Of your livid mouth
Like the spitting kids
On the concrete bridge
Picking cars below
Aiming at their lids
Better there for now
Where it's safe and sound
Than those broken homes
Where it's always loud
So I hold my tongue
Like it's mine to hold
When there's nothing here
That I really own
It returns with lust
To the dirt and dust
All you need is love
'cause all we have is love
Is is art I make?
I can never tell
How a piece of work
Works like peace as well
For a weary head
In a spinning room
Filled with bad ideas
And sweet perfume
Track Name: Week 5 - Steady Breaths
Strange hope to be here when everyone is out tonight
And me and my thoughts are meant to make it through the night
And day by day I learned about the malice in the sun
I heard it say, “I’ll love you any way I want”

A braver soul might just let go to start again
The morning swells as bright as hell with steady breaths
And it’s slipping through my clumsy fingers

If I gave up it wouldn’t be for anyone
I met your sad eyes just when I was least suspecting
So I’ll sing my little songs about no one
And I will sing them like it hurts

A braver soul might just let go to start again
The morning swells as bright as hell with steady breaths
And it’s slipping through my clumsy fingers

Strange hope to be here when everyone is out tonight
And me and my thoughts are meant to make it through the night
And day by day I learned about the malice in the sun
I heard it say, “I’ll love you any way I want”

A braver soul might just let go to start again
The morning swells as bright as hell with steady breaths
And it’s slipping through my clumsy fingers
Track Name: Week 6 - Saccharine Bleurgh
You'd take another step if you thought it would do any good
The problem with my head is lately it's been rotting wood.
I wish that I was brave.
I wish I had something to say.

We take it on the chin, we take it where we can get it
Maybe we are lost because we are all just kids
I wouldn't trust myself
So I'll trust someone else

Give it space and give it time
I cannot promise that it will be fine
But give it space and give it time
Anything is worth a try

Here is all I know wrapped up in a little line
We want twice as much, and we want it in half the time
Ghosts are just old dreams
Promises to ourselves that we forgot to keep.
Track Name: Week 7 - Bring Back The Astronauts
Clattered forks and paper napkins
Anything that might distract from
Your stomach pit, and how it’s twisting up
I’m just saving up for a rainy day with you

You must feel like a poltergeist
In this place where it’s windy twice
The way you pick up things
That feel like your own, but not quite

“Bring back the astronauts,” I heard them say
“They kept our hopes aloft,” I heard them say
“I reached the great beyond, in dreams of weightless silence”

We’ll keep at these stormy odds
And leaving our trail of gods
Like a child’s thought
That might’ve grown, we moved on

“Bring back the astronauts,”...

Our liver-spotted hands
Still crave that plot of land
Some dirt and dust
We think we can trust with our plans

“Bring back the astronauts,”...
Track Name: Week 8 - We're Gonna Need More Than Luck
Don’t get stuck in your head there’s a million little turns
That lead to dead ends with a million places
They don’t go

Maybe I’m out of time or maybe I could just
Bring something to mind that
No one knows

There’s a whole lot of people with a hole in the middle waiting for something to fill it up
There’s a whole lot of people with a hole in the middle, we’re gonna need more than luck

Stone me here where I stand I said my piece
And now I’ve run out of plan I can myself
Slowing down

There’s a whole…

Don’t get stuck…

There’s a whole…

Sometimes something’s so loud we can’t bring ourselves
To feel a tiny bit proud, but then remember that it’s
Something new
That wasn’t there when you sat down

There’s a whole...
Track Name: Week 9 - Shaking Knees
My god, it's here again, and I can't help but hold my little breath
And close my eyes so it's not there
Forgetting that I made it
You've got those shaking knees and shimmering epiphanies
Or so they seem

So turn the light off, we're paying bills that we can't pay
We don't mean business, but we should look it anyway
Don't blow our cover, we're like people who have real opinions and care if there will be another day

For now the jury's out on whether I'm a jester or a clown
Either way I pray for laughter
Either way I'm drinking after
By now I've learnt how the ghost in the machine’s been hiding out
I just wish that I it made some difference

So turn the...

You've got those...

So turn the...
Track Name: Week 10 - Headrush
And so the same old wind rips through the low, thick fog
In the alleyways where we fought like dogs
The last to drop was the last to lose

And then history became a deja vu
And repeats itself like some rotten food
Wipe your mouth, there's so much work to do

So I turn a phrase so smug and smart
A second coat upon some timid art
Each day leaves cracks how quickly it can fade

And though the branch was high above the swirling ground
I was a stoic stare and a mumbling mouth
"I cannot...
I cannot be afraid".

Here comes that headrush
Here comes that falling down

Get some air before it's all gone
And put our faith into a ticking clock
Time is selfish, like the god it is

It was a simple night with the distant stars
And we near forgot with our heavy hearts
That we are part, yeah, we are part of this

And with a cold handshake and a fearsome grin
There's a bottom line and a sprint to win
They help themselves and get by without friends

So smile a smile for the photograph
Because it all adds up in the aftermaths
Time and time and time and time again

Here comes that headrush
Here comes that falling down

So I turn a phrase so smug and smart
A second coat upon some timid art
Each day leaves cracks how quickly it could fade

And though the branch was high above the swirling ground
I was a stoic stare and a mumbling mouth
"I cannot...
I cannot be afraid".
Track Name: Week 11 - Out Of Character
Who knows where the fear begins
Trace it back to its origins
You were always a shaky kid
When you walked, kept your eyes fixed to the ground

Let me try some sincerity
Let me tone down the quirk in me
I sing out of character
I write out of fear of life without it

I miss the camaraderie
I miss our misguided feet
They waltzed along aimlessly
Under an evening without harm

Nostalgia was better then
Not too sweet, just enough to try again
Dip your toe in the fountain pen
Let the ink make its way towards your heart

Hold that thought it could be all that's left beyond this age of rust
And with all our flaws and all our foibles we document what we're prepared to show

I'm not a preacher of misery
I think we can mix want and need
I guess there's a symmetry
The way a note begins and ends with nothing

The Earth's a victim of circumstance
Shoots a stranger a worried glance
Don't know what but we need a plan
Don't know what but our gut will guide us on it

Hold that thought it could be all that's left beyond this age of rust
And with all our flaws and all our foibles we document what we're prepared to know
Track Name: Week 12 - Rosy Picture
Home, it’s been playing on my mind that I make time that I let go
And kid, it might not be the rosy picture that you paint of how you lived
But then we know it is

Sleep, I’ve been thinking that you might not hold me up in great esteem
Yeah sleep, I’ve been thinking that your world and mine have pretty different dreams
And they are ripping at the seams

Bless that smile you’d hardly know it’s learned the glitz and glamour show
That yesterday was holding out on us

Peace, I can hardly find the words to say how much you mean to me
I guess that’s just how it should be

Bless that smile you’d hardly know it’s learned the glitz and glamour show
That yesterday was just kicking up a fuss

Home, it’s been playing on my mind that I make time that I let go
And kid, maybe it’s not the rosy picture that you paint of how you lived
But then we know it is
Track Name: Week 13 - Damp
Same old again, a look into nowhere too soon
We'll marvel at thoughts or gawp at the size of the moon
We'll never forget what they said, how the cards we were dealt were from a trick deck,
But that worry inside of her head, how it grew

Just past the house there's a bar to get in from this cold
We can pine for the past like we know how it feels to get old
Tracing the tabletop's grooves
Where it gathers a glimpse of a world in a room
Where time isn't welcome to loom, so it goes

'cause there's damp in the hourglass, binding the grains of sand
Slowing down time, that miserable thief
‘cause the future seems big today, way more than yesterday
Make yourself bigger and show it your teeth

A smudge on your hand means you must've left something at home
It's happened again, you forget who's the voice on the phone
And little by little it cracks, sentences muddled and worried looks back
From a face that you feel like you know, but you don't
From a face that would muster a laugh at your jokes

'cause there's damp in the hourglass, watch as it binds the sand
Slowing down time, that miserable thief
And the future seems big today, way more than yesterday
Make yourself bigger and show it your teeth

Same old again, a look into nowhere too soon
We'll marvel at thoughts or gawp at the size of the moon
We'll never forget what they said, how the cards we were dealt were from a trick deck,
But that worry inside of her head, how it grew
Track Name: Week 14 - Store-bought Hope
Back-pedal like it does something
Chains winding through a breeze that's fast and low
I'm making a bold decision
I'm making a deal with someone cold
They might've said "trust no one"
Or they might've said "safe journey home"

And you still rely on that store-bought home

There's still time, maybe they need you
There's still time, maybe they need your words
To leave your trembling mouth
A city sky is filling with them now
Like some kind of premonition, I can feel my heartbeat slowing down

And you still rely on that store-bought home

Every time I'm stepping forward
Every time I leave a little bare
But it's not like it's a puzzle
That would serve to get us anywhere
Do you like this phony better?
This thoughtful pause and wistful stare?

And you still rely on that store-bought home

Back-pedal like it does something
Chains winding through a breeze that's fast and low
I'm making a bold decision
I'm making a deal with someone cold
They might've said "trust no one"
Or they might've said "safe journey home"

And they might not believe us
And the lies we've tried to rehearse
But we'll take them over stale words
And store-bought hope
Track Name: Week 15 - Shoot From The Lips
Same spot, bodies all around me like the Christmas better left forgot
Same plot, we can team up in the attic or else take a staircase each and split up
The rain tonight is heavy, making us grow old in double-time
And so I show the numbest smile and hope that no one's paying any mind

We'll call it fever
They'll make a believer
Out of you yet
'cause you seem so upset
With the price of this fresh air
That's tainted with fresh cares
"Some shoot from the hip, and some shoot from the lips," he said

Wake up, we're stranded in a morning and no one seems to care or want to help
And I take just as good as I give just as long as we're both taking from myself
I'll add two for every one I take and hope that that's enough
Each line is like a log removed, weakening a dam that I build up

We'll call it a fever...
Track Name: Week 16 - Positively Bute Street
You've got a lot of nerve to steal somebody's line
But then you made it self-aware, so I guess that it's fine
Find a barrel, scrape it out
Gotta let the bad ones out
Pleased to meet you and that little corner of your mind

I struggle to tell, I struggle to tell
If I really mean the things I say or if they happen by themselves
I struggle to tell, I struggle to tell
Why anyone should care and if it's something I can sell

Please, God, don't get mad, get yourself a drink
The problem with you deities is you act before you think
Maybe it'll settle down
No one needs to burn or drown
If it helps we all have days that make our stomach sink

I struggle to tell...

Oh, what a crying shame to have nothing to cry for
It can make the day a drag that grates across the floor
Let's make a day where you will say
That you'll reverse this slow decay
And I will set aside a day to learn another chord

I struggle to tell...
Track Name: Week 17 - Leaks Part IX and III
Part IX

Take a walk or take your own sweet time
Either way don't let it plague your mind
That it's now

They grew up in a house that tilted right
They flashed a smile for the rich and white
And it sank

She edged in slowly, looking fever thin
Barely present, mouth a vacant grin
So let down

Part III

You said we were just animals in different clothes
Don't remember much, wish we'd kept in touch
It's there's something I have learned, it's to never tell
People tend to hear what they want to hear and let it swell

You said we were all promises and future ghosts
Things are looking up, things are looking up
It's there's something I have learned, it's to never tell
People tend to hear what they want to hear and let it swell
Track Name: Week 18 - Pockets
I heard a voice from the other side, it was sweet and snide
And it tried to comfort me, tried to send me off to sea
But there's that sound of the violin, how the friction sings
Of a home that never was, of a distant "just because"

You wait on your toes, "not yet," was all that you said,
Stretched you neck 'round the bend, held your stance like a friend
Am I keeping you up? Just nod, I'm an affable sod,
I can laugh if they want, maybe that's all that they want

They sat inhaling the setting sun, bit their jealous tongues
The way it only tries to be exactly all that it can be
But I arrive like a slow parade, pockets deep as graves
At present, tense is how I feel, is there a glance that I can steal

You wait on your toes...
Track Name: Week 19 - Godaaawful Friend
Might as well be Tuesday for all that I know
This is not my floor, this is not my home
I can call the shots but pretend that I won't
I can hide for week then fuss and moan

'cause I'm a godawful friend

Would you like some pomp with your circumstance
Would you like a plea for another chance
The way that you a squirming like your gut feels a bad
Is something I don't want but just hope will pass

'cause I'm a godawful friend

I heard that people talk about people's things
I heard that people share their darkest dreams
I heard that there's a place where the people go
Tell me what it's like and I'll be snide and small

'cause I'm a godawful friend

Might as well be Tuesday for all that I know
Might as well try and then wish you never spoke
I can make you feel like a fraud in your home
I can make you feel like I can take a joke

'cause I'm a godawful friend
Track Name: Week 20 - More
Looks like it's getting worse
My little universe
Slow and steady caving in
Slow and steady with a grin

There goes the chosen one
He's lonely as a gun
He isn't any fun
He's caught up in his blissful vision

I would always say, "we are how we behave"
So why am I not seething deep down, breathing deep and screaming out the door
Someone keeps giving me days, then they look the other way, between vacant blinks I slouch and think then hope tomorrow I'll get given more

Please take this helping hand
Your pull will help me stand
My deeds are good and true
My deeds are good for nothing

I'll fix my scruffy tie
I'll fix my strange good bye
There's those who'll do or die
There's those who'll "see you later"

I would always say...

Looks like it's getting worse...

I would always say...
Track Name: Week 21 - Black & Blue
Dark eyes
The face at the window is all right
He lost his way in another life
An easy mistake with the toll that it takes
In an age that's so absent of love

Inhale
You've got a million and one tales
They lean in close 'til the air's stale
Your higher cause is to reap the applause
Of a room swelling outwards with noise

Let's pretend there's nothing we can do
Let's go out into a night that's black and blue

He smiles
The man on a soap box with damp eyes
Lost in a moment that ran wild
Left with no substance in unfounded judgements that serve to point blindly at air

Let's pretend...

Dark eyes
The face at the window is all right
He lost his way in another life
An easy mistake with the toll that it takes
In an age that's so absent of love

What's in your head tonight?
Your legs are slack but your eyes are bright
We're hanging on maybes, we're betting on mights
What's in your head tonight?
Track Name: Week 22 - Two-Tone
I forgot who I was about a week ago
Making idle chat about the weather's hopes
March out in the sun, was sure to grab my coat
You know it changes fast, except for when it won't
I finally see where I belong
It took leaving town, it took this song
It's when the nights were warm
It's when the nights were long
And the laughter pulls me and it's fierce and strong
But now we make ends meet until we meet our ends
Doesn't have to be, but it seems the trend
Better have some kids, watch it start again
Help them grow up strong, help them pick their friends

You've got that two-tone heart
You've got to lay down low
You've got your brother to thank for all this thankless bother
You've got to lay down low

Pressing both your hands against the old shop front
To get a closer glimpse at what it is you want
Oh, how I envy you, how you can buy it up
Not some forgotten night in some forgotten park
So I stare again at my shuffling feet
With a song in my ears, they keep the beat
With a one, two, three, four, mercy me, I've got everything I could ever need

You've got that...

I forgot...

You've got that...
Track Name: Week 23 - Myna Bird
You watch from the darkness of the corridors, it’s going on outside again, the squealing and the wailing wind
Beats us why anyone would choose a life, but I can make a go at it, forget the way it starts and fits
Hold tight, it’s a long old fall from way up here and your time hasn’t come
Don’t mind if you keep the hero in your legs and the coward in your lungs

I have no tales to tell, the one I have I don’t tell all that well
I lost my way with words, became a Myna Bird

Tough love was pulling you this way and that but with the patience of a docking shop you guide a straight and narrow fit
For once I’d like to see the world the way of someone with the widest eyes but no one in their line of sight
Hold tight, it’s a long old fall from way up here and your time hasn’t come
Don’t mind if you keep the hero in your legs and the coward in your lungs

I have no tales to tell, the one I have I don’t tell all that well
I lost my way with words, became a Myna Bird
Track Name: Week 24 - Gaps
Gaps in the stairs, hands grab your toes
No peace and quiet, but we wouldn’t like that
At least, we wouldn’t know

Wrap yourself up, breath turns to smoke
I guess it must be in me, all this middle-class whimsy
Needs somewhere to go

There were names on the top bunk slats, some thoughts out of the bag
Learnt my lesson after that, think it made me who I am

You ran for a week, or so it seemed
Gasping lungs empty, tears down your red cheeks
Only 13

It comes and it goes, you pity then gloat
A flash of a smile delivered in style
And, oh, how you know

There were names on the top bunk slats, some thoughts out of the bag
Learnt my lesson after that, think it made me who I am

I live on the edge of a 1 foot high ledge
There’s promise of grazing but hardly worth bracing
So why am I scared?

There were names on the top bunk slats, some thoughts out of the bag
Learnt my lesson after that, think it made me who I am

Gaps in the stairs, hands grab your toes
No peace and quiet, but we wouldn’t like that
At least, we wouldn’t know
Track Name: Week 25 - Picky One
The drunkard's song sounds lonely tonight
Without a choir to harmonise
Oh, how the windows are thing
Letting his sweet bellows in
He hopes that you're fine

You grew up, it was the worst thing you did
You should've stayed where you hid
Hearing the voices cry out
"Wherever you are, come out"
Breathing shallow and quick

It's on the tip of my tongue
I remember now what it is that I've done
I hope you'll forgive such a man
A man who is coy as I am
As I am
Track Name: Week 26 - Slow Clap
Calm as you like with shame on their skin
They knock on the door, feel the house caving in
And I know you'd call this part of the plan
The way it grows in the room like slow clapping hands

I met a world in the deepest of sleeps
It led with a joke, it moved like a creep
And your time between inhales and exhales will grow
And in those moments you'll make time slow

Pray for the gods 'cause they're lonely tonight
They broke their own rules and so hid out of sight
And there's truth in the fact that we made up our minds
Dreamt them up slowly a piece at a time
Track Name: Week 27 - Tim and Ardie Wrote a Folk Song
You said, "hey, would like to write a folk a song?"
I said, "Yeah, when I'm done with my yoghurt
Then I'll call the bank and sort through this mail
Hey, where did you put the granola?"

But I've got three chords and they're simple to play
And the tune is the sort people know
Yeah I know the kind, just let me put up these shelves
And then I'll be ready to go

The hardest part about writing a song
Is caring enough to begin with
I know there's washing and dishes to do
But at this rate we'll never finish

You were the one who suggest this first
And I've got my own stuff to do
Don't worry, man, I'll be right there
I just have to polish my shoes

There are some tricks to getting this done
We'll write a verse where there's nothing but strums
We'll write a verse where the last line is hummed
*Hums*

The hardest part...

The sun's going down, haven't eaten all day
Yeah, man, I know how you feel
I don't think you get it, I'm tired of this sheet
Hold that thought, here's a blog about seals

The hardest part...
Track Name: Week 28 - Dirty Joke
She said, “I dream in black and white,
And save the colour for daylight
So the blur and fuzz is bold and bright
Always in full bloom

I’m more lucky than I can believe
In a plastic chair not meant for sleep
I turned ten and you stayed with me
In a hospital room

There’s scenes I know will never go
Her skin was slack, her breaths shallow
We watched her move to let the air all
Escape from her bones

It’s times like that that bring it home
It’s not a place you’ve left alone
It’s an ugly smile on a face you know
That lifts away the world

I’m a stranger in an even stranger place
It’s like I’m eating up while they’re saying grace
They can see the phony on my face
Hope it makes them feel alive

‘Cause I never thought I wanted much
And I’ve never been in any rush
But I swear that time is speeding up
Every time I close my eyes

Tell me that old, dirty joke
Pretend you forget how it goes
Like the way you say you used to smoke
But keep some for those special nights
(And feel special almost every night)

I’m feeling better every day
Not that you asked anyway
But I’m learning that that’s okay
To just say that things are looking fine
Track Name: Week 29 - A Bit Absurd
Just like baby steps, each turn I’m out of breath,
A throat with little left
We laughed at nothing for a week that filled the sky with noise

You could hardly tell, with this sallow, swine of hell
I’m pleased to meet you, you’re full of blame and doing pretty well

You’re so very shy, your face gives you away
And even if the world cared then you know it wouldn’t wait

But maybe it’s grown rude, it should know better at its age
You said more than you should, but who counts anyway?

Missed another bus, rent another room
This whole month’s a bust, go to sleep ‘til June

But what would that kid say? The one you used to be?
He would dream an army that would march out of the sea

Spend a little time, throw out the receipt
You can save when you can’t move for blisters on your feet

and take your own advice, and stay a bit absurd
It may seem like a vice until you’re trying to get heard
Track Name: Week 30 - Smudges
Meet with me and tell me lies
We’ll escape the turning tide
Saying things are looking fine
As you put a little something in your coffee

This is not a noble cause
Months of work for faint applause
But I never thought it was
Anything but something to remind me
Of me

Don’t act scared
They’ll see it
And people aren’t forgiving as you think
It’s in every story that we tell
They can’t forgive themselves

Even if I’m sinking slow
With half my mind on tomorrow
I can make a moment grow
By sneaking up to pull it to the ground

You had smudges on your heart
Hoped that time would wash them off
Running fast so it beats hard
But all they did was blend into your body

Don’t act...
Track Name: Week 31 - Glimpse
Still as hell, this morning, looks like the world has paused
I can hardly help it if I backed a losing horse, The odds just made it seem to good to lose
And though I know that I don’t really stand a chance
Of speaking how it is as though I understand, I don’t need the blues to get the blues

This second wind could bring a turnaround
Don’t let the sails go down, I know you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t
I know my heart has been this way before
So long ago, It’s good to see him, to see him
Still beating strong with a glimpse of hope
To flush the cynic out, We don’t need him, don’t need him

The way it flits about must be why I cannot sit still
If you’d like a minute then I’ve got some time to kill, But I can’t promise that I will not tell

This second wind...
It’s always that bit later that I hit my stride,
I once sang of pride, And how it eats us, it eats us
I trust the words much more when they just flow
It’s as if they know, Just what we’re thinking, we’re thinking
Still pressing on and with a glimpse of hope
To flush the cynic out, We don’t need him, don’t need him
Track Name: Week 32 - String of Pearls
Still alive despite this cold
Press your ear to the ground below
No way back for this stampeding herd
‘cause people say the stupidest things,
Without a thought for the grief it brings
But there’s comfort in the way we’re made of words

Oh my, my pulse is feeling loud
If they could only see you now

It is strange how my pride has grown
But the way I used to take a joke
Has faded slow, soon to disappear
Like a string of pearls around a neck
Each one clinging to the next
We can’t let go, there’s safety in this fear

Oh my, my pulse is feeling loud
If they could only see you now

If you’re half-alone in a piece of time with a make or break sort of frame of mind
Let the moment pass let it strain a smile in a twirling mass in a blur of style
You were safe and sound in those wailing woods, an obsession now that won’t do you good
But that never stopped the most ardent men with a thirst for joy that’s without end
And it rumbles on that forgotten song of a million souls who did nothing wrong
But to follow those with a charming sheen and a promised plan that was swift and clean
And it all floods back from where once was dearth like the smell of rain hitting hot, dry earth
With a pull that’s strong that we can’t resist, where the past leans close with a loving kiss
Track Name: Week 33 - Be Kind
Can’t believe what the papers say
It’s a big black cloud hanging over today
But you’re a mess of joy and a rush of play
And I know it can’t be gone

This isn’t a prototype
A first dry run to see what it’s like
The only sun you’ll see is right
Before your bleary eyes

‘Cause it’s opened up this little mind of mine
And it’s a little younger getting younger all the time
And then those words, shiver up my spine
And they say, “god damn it, you’ve got to be kind”

A shaking voice says, “watch and learn”
We can all just wait our turn
We’ll just loiter in this no man’s land
And they can come to us

‘Cause it’s opened up this little mind of mine...

I heard that you were back in town
That your eyes said sorry but I won’t back down
I guess there’s hope in how you stray
That we can’t get back to what we crave

‘Cause it’s opened up this little mind of mine...
Track Name: Week 34 - Call up all the people that you know
Please excuse the mess, I haven’t been myself
But I digress, for the third time in three minutes
Such a simple soul that cannot take these layers that pile on and on so high

But since we’re packing up, there’s a crack across the ceiling
Where we leapt up, as if the room could not contain
Such a wreckless love that leaks from us and travels up and swims into the sky

They have put a ration on “Hello”
Call up all the people that you know

So I struck a match, when I should’ve struck a balance
And I lit a fuse, that was only out to get us
And this either/or, just like before, could be the only thing that will survive

There is something nervous and aglow
Call up all the people that you know

And my jealousy, is worse than anyone that I know
So I fail to see, this moment right before me
But we all know, it’s no surprise, the trick is just to mix it up sometimes

They have put a blockade on the road
Call up all the people that you know
Track Name: Week 35 - Suitcase
Stranger things have crept across this blank space
The way your body feels just like a suitcase
It isn’t hard to see your thirst to fill it up

And there’s a limit to the carbon in the coal shed
There’s a proverb that is reeling round in my head
Says never part with what you’re willing to give up

Save our little souls
You have made a brother of the cold
Keep your steady ears pinned to the walls
Save our little souls

You could stop the raucous if you wanted
You could find plan inside a matchstick
And watch it grow beyond the sum of all its parts

Save our little souls
You have made a brother of the cold
Keep your steady ears pinned to the walls
Save our little souls

Stranger things have crept across this blank space
The way your body feels just like a suitcase
It isn’t hard to see your thirst to fill it up
Track Name: Week 36 - Oh, Neptune
Oh, Neptune, I’m worn out and feeling spare
Oh, Mother, I promise that I’ll get there
A little groan and I lift my body up another time
Make it creak and stretch and settle and align
The radio fills the room with awful words

Oh, Neptune, you tried to hide
A quiet yearn for the simple life
But you can’t change an orbit and expect to stay disguised
And you can’t build a bridge without the other side
You had bought a life that I was renting

I would ask you to tell that story one more time
But I know it makes you sigh and then resign
To be the bore you never dreamt you’d be
To be the one who longs to return to the sea
Oh, Neptune, I am sad to see you leave
Track Name: Week 37 - Breaking Bread
We watched as they gathered on the pavement
How very wise of us
And I heard that the key to live forever
Is to give the people what they want

We heard them decades before us
Laughing and breaking bread

Hope you stay alive
I hope that that's all right
That that's a hope of mine
It was just like us
To ask for so much
And not just be enough

We can pick up where we left off
As if everything was just an in between
And I am so prone to nostalgia now
I fear that that's the way I've always been

We heard...

Hope you stay alive...

We had pride that was ours to keep
And those simple songs that felt just like sleep
Carried on with their wayward beat
Soft and slow in the midnight heat
And you'll never be lonely with words that sink slowly and into your steady bloodstream

Hope you stay alive...
Track Name: Week 38 - Untitled
I was wondering if you came back strong
Wondering if you’d mind that much
If hid you in a song
Don’t rush, time is in the careless cracks
There’s no use in worrying if you’ll end up on your back

Three more gulps to a swallowed pride
I’ll take your pity and I’ll come inside
I’ll wipe my feet with a crunch and slide
I am not who I’d hoped and that’s fine

Maybe I can sit here still awhile
I won’t cause a shuffling fuss
I’ll just show a simple smile
There was, something in the flower beds
Something that we let swell up
Something that would want us dead

Three more gulps to a swallowed pride
I’ll take your pity and I’ll come inside
I’ll wipe my feet with a crunch and slide
I am not who I’d hoped and that’s fine

A false move and everything could tumble down
But in truth, there’s more to find than can be found
And I learnt that truth has value in the end
And for what it’s worth, I really fucking miss my friends
Track Name: Week 39 - Cool News
Don't know why I found myself obsessed with time
I never learnt to read minds,
Least of all my own
Cool news, no one really needs you
You were meant to tease truth
What you cultivate can't grow
This is the age of our indifference
Becoming our own victims
Just putting on a show
It's ours to miss, to hardly scratch the surface
In then out a town that I don't know

You are like another language, I stumble through the consonants and vowels
Wrap my lips 'round moving air and try to force out some coherant sound
Without an ear to hear it I assume that my words must hang there still
Lonely like the books I said someday I'd read but know I never will

Please trust that I am always nervous
And so it tends to balance itself out
You seem to think that living the dream
Will mean to just escape from what is now
But I don't, life is in the grace notes
And art is just a way to help you shout
But know this, I am not an artist
I am just a man who's sometimes loud

You are like another language, I stumble through the consonants and vowels
Wrap my lips 'round moving air and try to force out some coherant sound
Without an ear to hear it I assume that my words must hang there still
Lonely like the books I said someday I'd read but know I never will
Track Name: Week 40 - Weak Forty
Let’s trace it back to the beginning
I’m in between but I’m living
Why’s it so hard to let go
Of the people we think that we are?
Love in the back of a car
Wasn’t enough for the cold

You’ve got the weight of the world
And I’ve gotta wait ‘til I’m old
And hope I grow into my skin
And still everything comes at cost
Nothing was squandered and lost
On our decades of just staying in

We’re history’s sons and daughters
And chance just thought us up
I hope you feel alive
And just because someone seems happy with
“Just because”, that doesn’t mean it’s good enough
But one thing at a time

You’ve got...

So I’m once again stuttering at a loss
Once again compared to permafrost
As if our thoughts should be free
And I thought that their skin was tough
Sorry just somehow is not enough
And no one’s as sorry as me

You’ve got...
Track Name: Week 41 - More Of The Same
And from my trembling mouth
Comes something I don’t know
Cruel and bitter words
Where nothing good can grow
And even if they profit from your soul
They’ll lose their own

Still it seems to grow
In my stomach pit
Then settles, lying low
A feeling that sits
And even if I drive to Old Mill Road
It wouldn’t go

We’ve been over this, but it’s on my mind
It’s not the place I miss, must be the time
How long until I learn, the past is frozen?
How long until I learn, the worth of moments?

Shuffling through a crowd
Their chanting gets obscene
Each tries to be louder
Praying they get seen
I hope that it’s the words that they believe in
I hope that it’s words that bring them peace

We’ve been over this, but it’s on my mind
It’s not the place I miss, must be the time
How long until I learn, the past is frozen?
How long until I learn, the worth of moments?

Still it seems to grow
In my stomach pit
Then settles, lying low
A feeling that sits
And even if I drive to Old Mill Road
It wouldn’t go
Track Name: Week 42 - Cells
And those bells, chiming into everybody’s Thursday
Interrupt the droning of the street noise
To speak of some forgotten history
And when you’re midthought
I can tell that you’re at your most joyful
Spilling out a stream of something useless
Just for the hell of it and for me

I can’t keep the promise that we’ll never lose
But we can dash and choose, just like before
People wind up back in their own skin again
And then begin again, older and unsure

And my friend, I’m in no position to remind you
That everything seems louder in the moment
And time dilutes and drags things to the sea

I can’t keep the promise that we’ll never lose...

And your body only has so many cells to hold on to
Clinging to each other so that you
Don’t crumple into nothing in the breeze
It’s amazing how you laugh it off with ease

I can’t keep the promise that we’ll never lose...
Track Name: Week 43 - The Towns Where
Keep in mind that a voice is just a voice until it finds the heart to smuggle something bright
‘Cause I feel like we’re growing more in danger of that great pretense I really can’t abide
These are the towns where people live and die

Our organs are gonna eat us alive
And so our organs are gonna need us alive

And your father said
Or else your teacher said
Or else someone said
“These words are not my own but I own them now
I spent a decade crunching numbers that just let me down
I spent a weekend in an attic in my dear hometown
And I painted something bigger than ourselves”

Our organs are gonna eat us alive
And so our organs are gonna need us alive

And I’m sincere when it serves my purpose
But there’s a fear that the line has blurred
And if there’s one thing that I have learned
We shouldn’t sully all our stories with the truth

Our organs are gonna eat us alive
And so our organs are gonna need us alive
Our organs are gonna eat us alive
And so our organs are gonna need us alive
Track Name: Week 44 - Leaks Part II, V, and VI
Part II

First the eyes, that is where they kissed you slow
So that love was all that you would see and know
Gathered round a bed in a hospital room
Gathered noise to welcome you into the world
Up and down, your chubby little forearms held
Learn the words, "Lovely day, I hope you're well"
Lovely day, I hope you're well
Lovely day, I hope you're well

Part V

Must've been, When we were nine
That our blood ran cold, and we called it a sign
And now we know, We can't rely
On some old thought, Least one of mine
It may lay, Bathed in light
But it leaks, Like the sky
All in all my biggest hope is that we stretch the limits of our time

Part VI

Let it blur
I wish I studied science with a different mind
I wish I'd had the gall to live a fearless life
And to know it isn't done
And there's still time
And they watched us grow between our well-made beds
Where we lay awake filled with what they said
"This is Earth, And it's yours
Don't mess it up
This is Earth, And it's yours
Don't blow it up
This is Earth, And it's yours
Don't fuck this up"
Track Name: Week 45 - Pile Of Atoms
There's a limit to the plain old drone,
a little bit of human touch
And I was never really rock and roll,
Even though I want it so damn much
Me, I'll sing about the good old days,
I'll find myself the words that fit
And I'll make them bloom inside your heart,
Yeah, I'll really make a meal of it.
Don't let it make your head sink low,
It happens to the best of us
And the way that time moves fast and slow,
Happens to the rest of us
And nothing makes up most of space,
And I'm a pile of atoms with a soul
And you can make a hopeless face,
Or you can fill the world with hope

And things can grow in the darkest places starved of light
And unbeknownst to me I could be satisfied
Even though I must've known it my whole life
I hid
I hid it well, I hid it in plain sight.

I've been thinking 'bout the words I choose,
I've been thinking that this thought has leaks
I've been thinking I might think too much,
I've been thinking that for this past week
But none of that is even true,
Which must mean that it's all a lie
I really don't think much at all,
I hardly have the nerve to try
And there's groaners in the next debate,
And they'll point at anything they see
And they'll call it all a call to arms,
As if they're in the Cavalry
Join them if you feel displaced,
Join them if you feel undone
If your conscience has been all used up,
You can always get another one

And things can grow...

Golden light fills this
Past of mine swells it
Twice its size
Never cold
Never cold
Track Name: Week 46 - Middle Room
Stop and start, that was how they said it ends
We were in our so-called prime
Believed in everything we said
Seems we grew into our skin again
I was in the middle room
And you were having babies then

Just a little touch of, “what’s the use?”
Burrows in to call the day a truce
Just a little touch of, “I was there”
Burrows in to find out who else cares

“Make your mark,” that was how they said we’d gain
Never mind those bleeding hearts
Never mind the tough terrain
“Pick your side,” that was how they said we’d glean
Everything we need to learn
Forget about the in between

Just a little touch of, “what’s the use?”...

I saw my ghost sliding on a weekend train
Must’ve missed the mountain air
Must’ve craved that different rain
Seems we grew into our skin again
I was in the middle room
And you were having babies then

Just a little touch of, “what’s the use?”...
Track Name: Week 47 - Leaks Part VIII and VII
Part VIII

We'll buy a house, the day before we're buried
And by themselves, words are just free noise
We've got our health, shame about the weather
That old guard are warming up the seats for someone else

And I turned left a street or two too early
And I take death way too personally
Most of us are lining up together
The queue won't stop 'til after we have found out what it's for

Part VII

And if my biggest hope is that we stretch the limits of our time
All this dwelling isn't helping
And I can cope with a wink down to the stalls, but I can see right through your smile
Up and over, stretched my hand to catch the fleeing ball
A little splash of glory if I dive
And maybe all the voices through the walls were really there
Maybe they were echoes that survived
And such bad blood stops to serve us any sort of purpose
Still more and more the less there is of time
And this croak, the one that I affect now has engulfed me
On and on it falters through the lines
Track Name: Week 48 - Wise Guy
It's a radio knob stuck and broken
It's a non-descript smudge on your skin
I'll help you take out your rubbish tonight
If you'll help me forget everything

And that's bound to be some kind of wise guy
Using a name that I barely recall
I'll turn around 'cause I'm drawn to the sound
Of a promise of nothing at all

Just rest your head on the pavement
This swirling and muddle will pass
I'll be the one with the bright ideas
And you can get all of the laughs

Maybe the dawn's not approaching
Maybe for once it slept in
Maybe we're nowhere or maybe we're somewhere
Or roughly a place in between

I got my smile from my father
Wide as a train in the night
You got your heart from your mother
I've never known something so bright

And that's bound to be some kind of wise guy
Using a name that I barely recall
I'll turn around 'cause I'm drawn to the sound
Of a promise of nothing at all
Track Name: Week 49 - Merry Christmas, UKIP
You didn’t quite nail it back in 2010
But it looks as though no one stole Christmas again
Now it’s gone beyond a bad cracker joke
Saying you represent ordinary folk
And I’m pretty safe for now, I’ll be all right,
‘Cause I’m nobody’s scapegoat, mostly ‘cause I’m white
And I hate to use Christmas, we’re better than that
But since it’s tradition, an old-fashioned spat
Politically correct is better than spite
It’s no more than small talk, it’s only polite
If you struggle to keep up with what is best said
Then let’s struggle with lightbulbs or else pre-sliced bread
‘Cause it’s just about progress, it isn’t a trick
So find out what’s right then you won’t look a dick
And if all that’s a bother, then just plain admit
That you’d rather be racist, it gives you kick

Can you find it in your heart
To spread some Christmas cheer?
And we’ll wake up to find out you’re no longer here

A different opinion is all well and good
And while we’re on facts: repulsive’s a word
We live on a planet that’s so sick with us
And it doesn’t care if you’re gaining some trust
Responding to science with such flippant ease
Is like learning Spanish by ironing your knees
I hope there’s a clandestine motive at least
Either way, goodbye, Earth. Rest in peace
And fear is a currency best slipped in slow
Veiled behind language you carefully chose
I know that this all seems a bit on the nose
I prefer brevity over verbose
But since this is Christmas I got you a gift
It’s a pat on the back for your stiff upper lip
For the brave way you say just what everyone thinks
For being deluded and tiresome old gits

And Merry Christmas, UKIP
What a year we’ve seen
I hope that Santa knows what good kids you’ve been

You say that you care but you're making things worse
You might think it’s well-meaning, but so is a hearse
Even that's too much credit, can't stomach the bile
And your rhetoric's rancid, your vigour is vile
But still, Merry Christmas, good will to all men
And women as well, no we can't forget them
And it might seem like schmaltzy, impractical stuff
But I think the world functions better on love
And people are people, with lungs and with blood
And since money talks, it doesn’t listen enough
You’re chasing nostalgic, intangible hopes
That only exist in children’s books tropes
And you’re feeling threatened, you’ve suffered enough
While people fill streets up with Christmassy stuff
Gone are the days where we smiled and then scoffed
In the nicest sense of the phrase, please fuck off

Can you find it in your heart,
To spread some Christmas cheer?
And we’ll wake up to find out you’re no longer here
And Merry Christmas, UKIP
Another year gone by
I hope that Santa gives more to the rich kids this time
I hope our border guards shoot his sleigh from the sky
Track Name: Week 50 - Please Know
Remember when you packed the snow into a jar and sealed it closed?
And put it in a freezer drawer and said that if it never thawed
Then everything was as it was and would be now for the rest of time
I found it just the other night
It had changed but not like you and I

And whether they are clear or blurred the streets are like familiar words
And even if they’re laced with frost and even if my legs are lost
I hope I find my way back all the same
It’s like a compass running through my veins

Come out if you like
Come out if you like
Come out if you don’t like - it’s Christmas

And I just crave the simple things, the true and real and simple things
And that is what the weeks will bring, a little burst to replenish my bones
Please know you will never not be home
Please know you will never not be home

Come out if you like
Come out if you like
Come out if you don’t like - it’s Christmas

Remember when you packed the snow into a jar and sealed it closed?
And put it in a freezer drawer and said that if it never thawed
Then everything was as it was and would be now for the rest of time
I found it just the other night
It had changed but not like you and I
I opened it emptied it and sighed
We cannot pick and choose but we can try

Come out if you like
Come out if you like
Come out if you don’t like - it’s Christmas
Track Name: Week 52 - Leaks Part X
Even if you know it in your heart
The plummet and the climb aren't worlds apart
We can't expect a booming voice to come
Saying, "This is Earth. Please don't mess this up."
Overjoyed or underwhelmed the line has blurred so much that I can't tell
Just please know that you are home and I have got more ordered words to sell

‘cause oh my god the present’s leaking fast
Learn your name, people tend to ask
I have faith in the beating, human heart
I have faith that faith is made of stars
I had a dream that we might dance to a boundless, sweet, unending song
Do si do and off to hell or anywhere between that we might want
Here’s to the loudmouths, may they all live by their tongues

We can tell that something here went wrong
As a cast of thousands looking on
I wish I’d studied science half the time
But language sounds like music in my mind
The Earth’s a noose, a dangling loop that’s rough and taught and beckoning and straight
The Earth’s uncouth and resolute, a scallywag that’s goading us to play
Here’s to the stoic, may they point at someone else

You shouldn’t take your death so personally
Goodness sake what just came over me?
I’ve been away from here now for so long
I’m learning I can build home where I want
And It can be so big that it stretches out and grows and gathers pace
Over fields and river beds and crumbling schools and rusting motorways
Here’s to the twisted, may they guide us ever on

First of all they kissed you on the eyes
So that you’d know love or something trite
What you see isn’t down to anyone
How you see is like a loaded gun
I’d hate to think that such bad blood could be enough to distance us ‘til now
I’d hate to know that I have grown somehow more cantankerous than now
Here’s to the liars, may they never get found out

‘cause oh my god the present’s leaking fast
Learn your name, people tend to ask
I have faith in the beating, human heart
I have faith that faith is made of stars
I don't want to prophecise a year has gone and been and gone again
But I still know that there's a hope buried in the way everything ends