1. |
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And we rest upon a promise that this might not be dumb luck
And we tell ourselves that we won't let the ocean swallow us
But you can't keep shunning happiness for fear it fades away
We'll keep running up the tab on the chance that we won't pay
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2. |
Kind Of Love
04:34
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There has to be an end to all of this self-reference
Like a paradox should kick in and help us to buck the trend
I could tell you of the day I didn’t tell a lie
But I couldn’t if I even tried, I couldn’t if I even tried
And they tell us that we’ll do just what feels right
And they’re wrong because I don’t put up a fight
It was a ‘pass it on before it burns your fingers’ kind of love
It was a ‘celebrate your losses like a trooper’ kind of love
It was a ‘hold on tight the whole damn time, we’re falling’ kind of love
Yeah I suppose that when all’s said and done it was a kind of love
Swirling round the floorboards are the things we never said
‘cause they shivered in our cold feet and moved elsewhere instead
And I cannot explain away what happened on that bitter day
I cannot explain it away, but I’ll try anyway
And they tell us that we’ll do just what feels right
And they’re wrong because I don’t put up a fight
It was a ‘pass it on before it burns your fingers’ kind of love
It was a ‘celebrate your losses like a trooper’ kind of love
It was a ‘hold on tight the whole damn time, we’re falling’ kind of love
Yeah I suppose that when all’s said and done it was a kind of love
And it can’t all be that bad
And we’ve seen the sky this grey
And I am pulling out the stops to make these old words fade away
Let them all just fade away
It was a ‘pass it on before it burns your fingers’ kind of love
It was a ‘celebrate your losses like a trooper’ kind of love
It was a ‘we’ll never make it out of here in one piece’ kind of love
It was a ‘can’t you tell it’s hot as hell and growing’ kind of love
It was a ‘hold on tight the whole damn time we’re falling’ kind of love
It was a ‘hold on tight the whole damn time we’re falling’ kind of love
It was a ‘hold on tight ‘cause “oh my god we’re falling”’ kind of love
Yeah I suppose that when all’s said done it was a kind of love
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3. |
Chase The Stratosphere
03:26
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You will always long for a time of plastic dinosaurs
and den in a forest filled with friends
We do tend to romanticise and no one’s ever found out how to pause, as simple as it was
Now all they are are thoughts
And though I am in danger of whimsy of the highest degree, I want to climb a tree
And we’ll climb hard
And we’ll climb high
And we will breathe
A better sky
And it will taste
Of our old dreams
And it is laced
With history
And we will chase
The stratosphere
And we will force our way
Out of here
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4. |
Relentless House
04:46
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Well it may be beyond us to harvest the grain
From this timid summer, heaving with rain
And though they scramble to pair off, and I understand why
Time’s layers are shedding, with a smile so sly
And I know you’re accused of Draconian ways
But they couldn’t be more wrong, you’re brimming with grace
My name’s just some letters, that cling to the page
But they needn’t worry, they’ll never age
Well I stopped all the clocks in this relentless house
I struck up a bargain, I felt just like Faust
I promised my struggle would all be in vain
I promised to pretend that I knew about pain
And I know you’re accused of Draconian ways
But they couldn’t be more wrong, you’re brimming with grace
My name’s just some letters, that cling to the page
But they needn’t worry, they’ll never age
Here’s to swollen ambition, here’s to perilous pride
We are living in a play, this is all an aside
And though they scramble to pair off, and I understand why
Time’s layers are shedding, with a smile so sly
And I know you’re accused of Draconian ways
But they couldn’t be more wrong, you’re brimming with grace
My name’s just some letters, that cling to the page
But they needn’t worry, they’ll never age
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5. |
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This is not a tragedy, your exaggeration worries me, catastrophising everything is no way to live
But the harps and halos have struck the ground and the curious have gathered round, and struck up some brilliance in a way we never did
And the visionary heroes are trying to tame the night, they’ve made some kind of breakthrough and you know that they just might
But whatever this was it had a good run, well 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ready or not here we come
Well the park feels like a stranger now, it’s seen me at my worst
And the baker and the butcher gathered ‘round the hearse
Where the candlestick maker lies quiet as a mouse
His shoddy workmanship had let the flame slip that would end setting fire to his house
And in his final splutter in the smoke, the irony wasn’t lost on him, at least
So we’ll leave them to wax lyrical about the origins of war, when we know that yearning has got a lot to answer for
Well it’s all written by the victors it’s all boys with rocks to hurl, and trying to pretend it’s not all to impress some girl
And the visionary heroes are trying to tame the night, they’ve made some kind of breakthrough and you know that they just might
But whatever this was it had a good run, well 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ready or not here we come.
The difference now was marginal but you had earned an arsenal of self-destructive thoughts
They clamoured at your sanity and nothing else but brevity of language could be used to stop from being caught
And the visionary heroes are trying to tame the night, they’ve made some kind of breakthrough and you know that they just might
But whatever this was it had a good run, well 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ready or not here we come
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6. |
Something On My Chest
03:03
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You were young, fell off the bough
It forces a contortion of your face into a frown
And so I must accept that I’ll always be the clown
And though I should’ve guessed
I felt I should confront you; there was something on my chest
And when I lie horizontal it weighs me down
And so we strive for a legacy
A needless piece of something to prove that we once breathed
I earned myself an epigraph and I thought I’d feel complete
And though I should’ve guessed
I felt I should confront you; there was something on my chest
And when I lie horizontal I can hardly breathe
Perhaps it’s in my head
Congealing my neuroses, transcending out of bed
An alloy forms out of stomach and lead
And though I should’ve guessed
I felt I should confront you; there was something on my chest
And when I lie horizontal my legs they fear they're dead
A useless, weakened clasp
Your voice is barely present like an underwhelming rasp
It lingers in the distance like a truth that’s hard to grasp
And though I should’ve guessed
I felt I should confront you; there was something on my chest
And when I lie horizontal I splutter between gasps
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7. |
Croak
03:30
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This is the season, this is the season of war, won’t you make yourself at home
There is a reason, there is a reason you’re sore, it’s ‘cause you can’t handle alone
But I am the king of this thing
I love to croak as I sing and watch all of the words as they spill over all of the floor
They told me to hold onto this, they told me that I’d be the coolest, the coolest kid in the school
I went and believed them, I went and believed them, I’m usually nobody’s fool
But a truth in all of this rings
I love to croak as I sing and make up some half-written story about something that never happened at school
Press on you infamous creep, press on you infamous creep, we would expect nothing less
And everything round us has slowed, everything round us has slowed, until we have halted and stopped for some breath
But there’s something I always bring
I love to croak as I sing and take every moment for myself as if there won’t be any left
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8. |
Throwaway
05:05
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And since my head’s still in the clouds, and regret’s a passing fad
I don’t need to compromise for something that I never even had
And I probably never will, I am stranger than you think
I can live inside a fantasy while all the while I’m edging to the brink
And I know you have something dull to say
And I know you will say it anyway
You say I must be woozy or lonely
It’s like accusing me of suicide, accusing me of carelessness of heart
When care is all I’ve got
Yeah, it’s ripping through the floor
Yeah, it’s churning up the earth that might surround the house that we will one day sit in growing old
And I’ll sing the notes all flat
I will pelt them at the walls
‘cause I am barely seconds from resolving that it’s hardly worth anything at all
And so by now we’ve come full circle,
So by now they moan as usual
They say ‘Why? Why us?’, They say ‘Why? Why us?’
They scream ‘Why? Why us?’, They scream ‘Why? Why us?’
And since my head’s still in the clouds, and regret’s a passing fad
I don’t need to compromise for something that I never even had
And I know love is meant to drive us all
And I know all is fair in love and war
And so I’m sorry that it bores me
Yeah I’m sorry that it bores me
Yeah, I’m sorry that it bores me
Yeah I’m sorry that it bores me
You say I must be woozy or lonely
It’s like accusing me of suicide, accusing me of carelessness of heart
When care is all I’ve got
Yeah, it’s ripping through the floor
Yeah, it’s churning up the earth that might surround the house that we will one day sit in growing old
And I’ll sing the notes all flat
I will pelt them at the walls
‘cause I am barely seconds from resolving that it’s hardly worth anything at all
And you tell me that’s enough
That I am made of stronger stuff
I dashed in on a whim to find you standing there and you were setting fire to love
As if anything I say
Should be taken to the fray
And called upon as wisdom when I am just one big throwaway phrase
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9. |
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You want a way out; well please yourself, so long
We’ll be right here in the mire and the squalor and songs
Pick up your feet or you’ll scuff up your shoes at this rate we’ll be stranded with nothing to lose and I know that sometimes these things can’t be helped but I’m calling out calmly for you to stop blaming yourself.
I know that you’re scared; fear is just part of the day
Wasn’t it you who said, ‘I don’t want to know the way.’?
Well none of us know the way
None of us know the way
None of us know the way in this place
I nearly snapped my spine as we jumped off the wall
Miles from the hubbub, miles from the fatuous sprawl
Oh I woke up slowly to take in the morning and let it flow through me before washing out again
Out of my mouth and spread onto the ceiling ‘cause this is a feeling that is seldom felt by me
I’ll take the guarded and prudish and low-lives and we’ll make a hole that goes straight through the mountainside
And breathe in the dust of this baffling Earth let it settle in our lungs and scream of its worth
As it hurtles through nowhere with nowhere to grab hold while I find my soap-box and sneer at the old gods
Well what is that worth what is all of this worth, as we plummet sideways and cling to this Earth?
But I’ll take the Tuesdays of bold mediocrity; I’ll take the nights where we all wandered blindly
With nowhere to go and less still to be, we slipped into shadows and muttered they’ll never find me
Find me, find me, find me
And we will chase the stratosphere
And we will force our way out of here.
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10. |
Cereal Bowl
02:44
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It’s not likely that we’ll calm down when we could parody ourselves
Standing on a fine line a hundred feet above each lie we tell
And wasn’t it like us to find ourselves a negative in this?
Wasn’t it like us to focus on all of the worst bits?
I had a feeling in my stomach that you had more to say
Well ain’t it always the way?
Yeah I know it’s tried and tested and it’s healthy for your soul
But I’ve got a brand new set of strings and an old cereal bowl
And that’s all I’m gonna need today, it’s all that I need everyday
It’s all that I need everyday
I spent half a decade looking up to Conor and to Bob and Jeff and James and Mark and Thom and Joe and Win and Kimya and John and Robert and Laura and Sufjan and Tom and Leonard and David and Regina and Kurt and Woody and Wayne and Elliot and Ben and it doesn’t do comparing myself to them all again
I’ll just get on here with my sentimental noise
Half of it’s necessity and half of it is choice
I might do a Masters in The Science Of The Soul
And then head back over to collect my dole
‘cause I could go mad here any second I am gonna break
Unless it’s all been a dream and suddenly I’ll wake
Into a room into a Here into a screaming present tense
Into a spot that’s ruled by shutter speed disguised behind a lens
And wasn’t it like us to find ourselves a negative in this
Wasn’t it like us to focus on all of the worst bits
I had a feeling in my stomach that you had more to say
Well ain’t it always the way?
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Ardie Collins Cardiff, UK
I'm a songwriter from Cardiff, Wales.
In 2011 I released a song a day. In 2014 I released a song a week. I haven't been up to much since.
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